Inflicted
by ferretfood
Summary: The death of her betrothed, and the fact there were no suitors left in the empire meant that Juliana was disowned by her powerful father to evade the shame he might have faced. Banished from her home and forbidden to return, Juliana didn't find death as she had expected, as her father had hoped. She found a new life, but her pain and fear of damnation from God followed her.
1. Banishment

_**So I watched King Arthur and got inspired to write some Tristan/OC. Let's see how this turns out :D**_

There are changes that happen to people that would change their lives forever. Sometimes things changed for the better, most of the time for the worse. People knew this fact after seeing it happen to others, but it never actually occurred to them until such events happened to them. If there was occurrence, it tended to be when the worst happened, generally if it was good there were feelings of blessing instead of feeling that life had taken a dramatic turn.

Some people who were of high class thought they could avoid life altering events, but if you look at Caligula and the other Roman emperors who were assassinated in years past, it would automatically disprove that theory. But even after seeing such examples of how bad luck could touch even the wealthiest and most powerful, that small group of people remained ignorant to the fact that they were not untouchable, or they were just too afraid to dwell on the fact.

Bad luck travelled the world like a disease, it even spread to the remote island of Briton, where conflict reigned between the clans, and resulted in bloodshed and loss. The battle had been going on for years before Arthur, his knights, and the Woads defeated the Saxons, killing a good number of them and their leader. The knights who had been previously thought to be fallen, had their severe wounds nursed back to health, thanking the gods that the Saxons and their weapons were made for inadequate killing. This was shown as good luck, a blessing, not life altering.

So why do we speak of bad luck when good luck is happening at the moment? If you look past all of the battle glory and diplomacy, you would see that not far off, another conflict has started. But how could such a conflict happen in the house of a respectable Roman government official?

It was a calm, quiet morning when the young daughter of a government official, Juliana, woke up early to start the trials of her day, to observe her mother in how to run and organize a home. She was at a marriageable age, and she was already betrothed to a man of her status named Andrius. Juliana had never met him before, but she wondered about him often.

She wondered if he was kind and caring, she certainly hoped he'd be. She wondered how mature and stable he was, hoping he wasn't like the sons of some noblemen that still messed around and didn't tend to their work and families. She also wondered if he was handsome, it wouldn't matter to her either way, but it would definitely be a perk she would thank god for.

There was a loud knock at the door, harsher than if it were one of the maidservants that would attend to her in the morning. Juliana was shocked, adjusting her nightgown to make sure that she was decent. The knocking on the door grew louder and louder.

" Aye miss! Come out before we knock the door down!" A man's voice shouted. Juliana recognized the voice, it was one of the guards that kept watch over the household. She got swiftly on her feet and scrambled towards the door, her hand trembling when she opened it. When the door swung open, two Roman soldiers who guarded her father looked down at her with disapproving scowls. Juliana felt tears welling in her eyes, what had she done wrong?

" Good morning sirs. How may I help you?" Juliana asked nervously, she had never been alone with a man who wasn't her father or brothers, it made her nervous, assuming that they would attempt something sinful.

" Your father wishes to speak to you. We've sent for your servant to attire you." One of the soldiers said.

" Thank you." Juliana stammered, looking down at her bare feet as she closed the door on the soldiers. She felt exposed, she wasn't dressed decently to be addressed by men who were not her relatives. She wondered why they did not send for her maidservant to give her the news and prepare her for the day. She debated whether she would tell her father of the incident, she feared he was angry at her based on the soldier's attitudes.

She waited, her mind racing about what her father wished to tell her. She didn't speak to her father often and did not have a close relationship to him, they had never taken much time to get to know each other. She knew he didn't particularly care for paying a dowry when she would be married off, so she was on her best behavior whenever they did speak.

Juliana heard a knock at the door, this time the knock was light and gentle. Juliana stood up to open the door for her maidservant. Behind the door there was a small, hunched over, wizened old woman with a large, thin smile on her face. She always had a large smile, but this smile was different, as if she was forcing it so that Juliana didn't suspect something.

" Good morning miss." The maidservant said as she walked in Juliana's bedchambers.

" Good morning." Juliana said. " Do you know why my father wishes to see me?" Juliana asked immediately after. The maidservant gave Juliana a confused look before looking down at her feet and sighing. Juliana had a bad feeling about what she was about to be told. Her hands clenched into tight fists, her knuckles turning a sallow white, she could hear her knuckles popping, the sound echoed her silent chambers. Her maidservant looked back up at her and burst into tears.

" I can't tell you. Your father has ordered me not to." She sobbed, her hand went to cover her face. Juliana ran over to the maidservant, who was now collapsed on the floor. Juliana threw her arms around the woman, hoping to at least calm her down a little bit. It was so strange to see her cry when generally, it was her who comforted Juliana when she was in melancholy mood.

" You don't have to tell me. Just please, stop crying." Juliana cooed. She realized after she told her servant to stop crying, she realized the idiocy of her words, for her maidservant's cries only grew louder. Juliana now feared for the worst, only, she had no idea what the worst could be.

After several minutes of trying to comfort her maidservant, Juliana stood her back up, holding the crying woman in her arms so she wouldn't collapse again. Juliana guided her servant to a chair located at the north wall of her chambers. She sat the woman down and kneeled in front of her, stroking her cheek with her hand.

" Stay here." Juliana said in a strong, but not forceful tone. The maidservant nodded, holding her head in her hands once again. Juliana kissed the woman on the cheek before walking to her closet. She threw the double doors open and grabbed a tunic and a dark red stola from one of the shelves. She aggressively scrambled into her clothing, not caring if her attire was perfection, but making sure it was at least neat enough to be presentable to her father.

Once dressed, she tied a wool cloak around her shoulders and walked back to her maidservant. She was still hysterical. Juliana threw her arms around the sobbing woman, hoping desperately that she would be better before too long, she feared that if her servant was caught, she might be punished in a brutal way. She considered her maidservant like a second mother, maybe an aunt, her kind words and support gave Juliana more confidence than she deserved.

" Please promise you will not get caught." Juliana said. The maidservant nodded, unable to speak, she let out a hoarse sound that indicated she understood Juliana's order. Juliana gave her servant another kiss on the cheek before storming out of her bedchambers.

She made her way down the columned halls in a fast walk, it would be improper to run. Her wool cloak billowed behind her. She did not care that her hair remained undressed or that she did not wear any fine jewels, she was not expecting guests anyways. She passed the same pair of Roman guards who were at her door when she woke up, she put her nose up and gave them a scolding glance for their impropriety.

Finally she reached the dining hall where she expected her father to be. She had two slaves open the heavy, wooden double doors that lead into the hall. She walked in to find her father, mother, and siblings eating their fill of breakfast. Her father was a plump, bearded man who was losing the hair at the top of his head. He studied something intently, probably something sent to him from Rome.

" Good morning dearest father, would you please enlighten me as to why my servant told me you wished for a word and then began sobbing?" Juliana asked in a strict, but not usurping tone. Her father looked up from whatever he was doing and gave his daughter a grave look. He gestured her to a seat next to her mother. Juliana walked speedily to the chair an sat, eager to know what was being hidden from her.

" As you know, there has been a plague in Rome for some time, and I was planning on keeping this from you until you were married, but I am afraid I must tell you now." Her father swallowed hard, he too was disturbed of what Juliana was about to be told. " Andrius died of the plague a year ago." He admitted. Juliana was in disbelief, she instantly broke down into tears, though she had never met Andrius, the idea of losing her future husband shook her entire world. " And to the rest of Rome, as of yesterday, you have committed suicide." He added. Juliana looked back up at her father, her face was red and glistened from sweat and tears, it was not a pretty sight to look at. Juliana's world had turned upside down in a matter of a few words. She could not believe her father lied about something like that, he was a good man, or at least she thought he was.

" Why would you say that?" Juliana asked, the words came out as a high pitched mutter. She noticed the absence of her mother's comfort, it must have been on her father's orders. But what did Juliana do to make her father hate her so?

" We have been looking for a new suitor for you, and there are none in our rank. I cannot stress how dreadful it would be to marry you to a man of lower status, it would be shameful. You must understand Juliana, I must not allow my daughter to get in the way of my image. I am a man of power, and your life is the only thing threatening my reputation. I hope God can forgive you for your sins against me."

Juliana thought horrible of herself, she was a sinner against God, she was a dishonor to her family name. But why her? She had done everything her mother told her to, she was a loyal daughter and loving sister, she prayed every night, she did everything right except for the one thing that would ruin her. She simply existed when it was not convenient for her to.

" I am so sorry father." Juliana's voice was small. Her father snorted and looked down at what he was observing earlier. " Forgive me please." Her voice was trembling, and so was her fragile body. " I am sure we can find someone." Juliana was choked up, not daring to look up at her father's disappointed gaze. She looked over to her mother to vainly find support in her, it was all she could think of, all other options were gone. When her mother's face remained unfazed, that was when Juliana learned that she was on her own in this ordeal. " What are you going to do to me?" Juliana asked once the question came to her mind, was she to be damned?

" You will die, but not by my hand, or command. I banish you from this household. You will travel past the hills on foot, from there on, your actions will decide your fate. If you ever return, I will have you killed as if you were a trespasser. Is that understood?"

" Father, please!" Juliana cried in a desperate plea. She feared for her life, there was no way she would survive. There were dangerous people out past the hills, that was if you could call them people. The hills were also several miles away, it would be nightfall before she passed them, making the banishment even more dangerous. She hoped that her father would be forgiving as he always had been so she could live to see another day.

" I am not your father! You are beneath the position you once were! Do you understand me?" Her father raised his voice, it's words spread in a booming echo throughout the dining hall, making his wife and sons jump from fright, and his disowned daughter scream from the pain in her heart and mind. " Leave us!" Her father bellowed. Juliana was still hunched over in her chair and unmoving. Her father raised his hand and threatened to hit Juliana. Juliana screamed and fell to the floor, scrambling towards the door in a desperate attempt to avoid her father's hand.

Juliana ran down the corridors, not caring for propriety, she required it no longer. She had no course she was following, she was simply running to get away from her father. She hoped desperately that this was all a terrible nightmare. That Andrius was still alive and she was still in the family. But she lost her hope when she heard the sound of feet chasing her.

" Juliana! Darling, stop!" Her mother's voice called out for her. Juliana stopped immediately, waiting for her mother to catch up with her. When the two were side by side, Juliana's mother turned her daughter around to face her, pulling her into a tight hug. She too was in tears, how couldn't she be, after being so strong, after watching their husband raise his hand to their only daughter?

" Mother! I'm so sorry, I should have never been born, I'm a sinner and a disappointment." Juliana's words grew less and less coherent with the arrival of fresh tears. Juliana's mother patted her daughter's back and gently hushed her daughter until she was calmer.

" God will forgive you my child." Juliana's mother cooed into her ear.

" God hates me, he wouldn't do this to me otherwise." Juliana whimpered.

" God loves you Juliana, he only has a different plan for you than others. When you get to heaven, you will learn why God gave you the life you had, and he will answer any questions you wish to know the answer to." Juliana's mother contradicted Juliana. Juliana's crying slowed down. Despite her knowing her mother's words were true, she was still scared. What if she wasn't accepted into Heaven? What if she was damned to an eternity in Hell? There was the sound of more footsteps, this time they were heavier than the footsteps of Juliana's mother. " Go, I think your father has sent guards to see to your banishment."

" Mother I-"

" I love you, now go." Juliana's mother demanded. Juliana started running to the nearest exit of the manor as fast as her little legs had ever carried her. When she came to the door that was her exit, she looked back, knowing it was the last time she would ever see inside her home. After a few moments, she finally mustered the courage to open the door and began running again.

It was cold, winter had just began, and it's first snow now covered the ground. Juliana was soon chilled to the bone, for she did not have the attire to travel in snow. As her teeth chattered, she kept moving, hoping to find someplace warm before sundown. She wrapped her cloak tighter around her when her arms began to feel the chill of winter. Never in her life was she this cold, now she knew the hardship her father's serfs had to endure.

Though she was cold and now hungry without breakfast, the thing Juliana dreaded the most was how much she already missed her family, and she hadn't even made the first half mile. She thought of them, they were all she was thinking about once she was more acclimated to the freezing temperatures. If she wasn't going to die of cold or hunger, she would mostly die of heartache.

She continued on to the hills, praying that there was a warm place for her to sleep when she had made her way over them. Only time would tell if God planned to keep her alive for a little longer, or if he wished her into his kingdom so soon.

_**How is it so far. Leave a review telling me what you think. I take critiques, so don't be shy :D **_


	2. Encounters of Introduction

**_Sorry I've been gone, I've been having some personal/family issues so I haven't found time to write._**

It was a rather interesting night for Tristan last night, but he felt lucky he did not miss out on it. Though Tristan tried to keep his disgust towards the Romans in the back of his mind, last night showed him yet more evidence on how terrible Christian Romans are. This was hardly the worst thing they had done, not even close, but it was enough to increase his internal disgust for the Romans.

After finding the daughter of Julius Norbanus lying several miles from her home in the freezing cold late at night, Tristan called for his fellow knights to witness the surreal situation before him. Had the girl ran away? That was what he assumed at first. The knights rode to the manor when they were approached by Norbanus' personal guards. They told them she had been banished from the household and was dead in the eyes of the Roman Empire. Arthur of course, had issues with what they said, and ended up barging into the manor after tying his horse. There was a heated argument between Arthur and Norbanus about the fate of his daughter and why she was casted to such a fate. When Arthur knew that his words would never get to the government official, he left.

After that, there was a debate about who ended up with Juliana, because Arthur sure as hell wasn't going to leave her to the mercy of the elements. Bors and Vanora had yet another child, Lancelot couldn't be trusted with women (he objected to that before everyone began laughing), Arthur and Guinevere were preoccupied with their own child on the way, and the other knights had little room for they had wives and children now. So after the heated argument, it was Tristan who was now stuck with the young daughter of Norbanus. As annoyed as he was with the arrangement, he accepted it. Just as long as the little chit didn't meddle too much.

For now, he was strictly instructed by Vanora to stay away from his bedchambers where the girl slept, she did not want the girl to be frightened at the fact that she was alone with a man. She let out a little quip about how Roman girls, especially noble ones, were flighty. She promised to check on the girl every hour or so, even with her month old baby to care for. Tristan didn't mind the arrangement, happy that he had some freedom, for now at least. It wasn't until he was on the way back to his home in the night that Tristan realized he had no idea how he was going to adjust to the girl in his home, his only encounters with women he could remember were prostitutes, and they were come and go. For him, prostitutes weren't paid to come, it was more like they were paid to leave and not be so clingy like the average woman.

Meanwhile, Vanora was at Tristan's house, nursing her child as she made sure Juliana was alright. Her husband was out with Tristan and the other knights, so she thought to spend more time with the girl. She hear a soft cooing, her baby was finished nursing her breast and gave his mother a satisfied smile, along with a small grunt. Vanora cradled the infant in her arms and rocked the child, who she could see was already sleepy. She stood up from the chair and burped the child, walking around the room.

There was an abrupt shuffling of blankets. Vanora turned around to see Juliana had waken up, and was now sitting bolt upright and staring at Vanora like she was a barbarian.

" Good morning sleepy head, I was wondering when you'd wake up." Vanora said with a chuckle, despite the stern, confused, and slightly criticizing look on Juliana's face. " I'm Vanora, and this here is my youngest, Banor."

" Am I dead?" Juliana asked. She was bewildered and confused, this was the last place she expected to be after yesterday. Vanora shook her head. Juliana sighed deeply as she took in her surroundings, she certainly hoped she wasn't going to remain here. She looked down at the wooden ground, the pain of yesterday began to fill her mind yet again.

" Then I've failed my father's orders." Juliana muttered. She looked back up at Vanora. Her eyes were narrowing and her lips began to quiver. " Were am I?" She asked the red haired woman known as Vanora.

" You're at Baydon fort. You were found by King Arthur and his knights. You are to live with one of them, Tristan he's called." Vanora told the girl. Juliana grew a mortified look along with with the beginnings of tears.

" You're not his wife. Lover then?" Juliana asked, her voice choked up. Vanora laughed, the idea of Tristan and her together was a hilarious nightmare.

" Tristan? No! My lover is also a knight, Bor is his no, never Tristan." Vanora, still laughing at the thought.

" Is he married?" Juliana asked. Vanora shook her head, knowing that the girl being of noble background had probably never seen a man who wasn't fully dressed, or had ever been alone with one, was not going to take this well.

Juliana started sobbing uncontrollably. She had been disowned and cast out by her family, woke up in the bedchambers of a house she was going to have to share with and unmarried man, and there was nothing she could do about it. She rarely had any control in the past, but it was never over such emotional circumstances.

Vanora sat next to the sobbing girl, putting her free arm around her shoulder. Juliana covered her face with her hands, trying to hide the shame she felt about herself, now she was truthfully damned. She had disobeyed her father's command to die, and now she and a man, an unmarried man, were to share a house together. How much sin could there be in Juliana's life.

" God, please forgive me." Juliana prayed out loud, her voice was trembling from the shortness of breath she had from crying. " Forgive me and please do not cast me to the wrath and evil of Satan, despite my sins being many and major. I pray that I can be redeemed and see your glory in heaven. Please god, hear my prayer. Show your mercy if you can."

" Do you really think that's going to solve your problems little girl?" A different voice said in a deep tone, questioning Juliana on her prayers. Her tears had stopped, frightened to cry in front of a man who seemed annoyed with her. She looked up to see a man who was leaning on the opposite wall of where the bed was. He had an apple in one hand, and a small knife cutting the apple in another. He was a tall, rugged man, one that Juliana wanted to keep clear of. Most men were stronger than Juliana, but she was certain he could snap her in half if he desired to. Hopefully, that was not his intention.

Vanora looked over to the man and smiled. The man nodded back to her, he would be needing to talk to her after this little introduction.

" My god. How are you such a sneaky man?" Vanora said with a chuckle. " Juliana, this is Tristan. He's the one who found yah. I reckon you should thank him." Vanora instructed the frightened girl.

" Thank you." Juliana said, lowering her head into a small bow, because now, he was no longer her inferior, he was her lord and master as long as she was in his home. Juliana hoped that Tristan was not as cruel as he looked, but knowing him to be a Sarmatian knight and not much else, it was impossible to know how aggressive he was off the battlefield.

" Yeah. " He responded to her thanks, taking a deep sigh, he was feeling even more of the pressure of having to care for the girl. " Let's not get into all of this sentiment, I do not particularly care for it." Tristan said. He was about to walk out of the room before he handed her the apple. " Eat." He demanded. " I don't want to be responsible for you starving. Understand little girl?" He pointed his long finger at the girl, who's eyes widened in fear. She nodded before taking a bite of the apple. Tristan huffed before he gestured Vanora to follow him out of his bedchambers.

" How the hell am I supposed to take care of the chit while at the same time do my duties for Arthur?" Tristan complained in a hushed voice. Vanora huffed heavily and glared at Tristan.

" First of all, she is not a chit, so watch your tongue or I'll have Bors cut it out." Vanora threatened. " Secondly, the girl's sixteen, I'm sure you can put her to some use, even if she was a rich Roman. Scrub the floors, cook a meal, tidy up your shit. All you need to do is give her a roof over her head."

" And if the girl isn't of any use?" Tristan asked.

" Then I'll just have to have my older daughters teach her. But I'm sure since so many Roman men end up broke and dead, the women know how to survive when their days of being pretty and relaxed are up." Vanora stopped talking when she heart her child start crying. She rocked the baby a little bit, but she knew that it was getting close for him to sleep. " I'm off, I'm sure Bors is expecting me and this little bundle needs to sleep. Good luck to yah, even though it's Juliana I should be sympathizing with." Vanora walked off and Tristan soon heard the door close.

He had fought in many battles, slain many foes, had taken stab wounds and most any other kind of wound. But caring for a disowned girl did not fall in the category of his profession, killing.

Tristan walked back into his chambers to see that the little chit had fallen asleep again. He smirked, she was a pretty thing, it was no wonder Lancelot considered himself the perfect candidate to "_take care_" of her. She didn't look like most Roman women. She was was a tiny thing with seemingly wide hips. She had long blonde hair, pale skin, he could remember blue eyes from when he had talked to her. He also noticed her full lips, he thought how lucky the man who must have been her suitor was to die before they were wed.

He would have reveled in the fact he had this girl in his care if she wasn't going to be an angst ridden noblewoman who probably never lifted a finger in her life.


	3. Pleasures, if You Know What I Mean

**New chapter :D Tge last one didn't do so good on reviews. Let this one flourish! Do it for Briton!**

The next morning, Juliana was woken up by the sounds of a very strange bird. She was definitely well rested, yet she still felt tired. She shook those thoughts away and walked out of Tristan's bedchamber's to find him with a hawk. She stopped, surprised that he would allow a wild beast into the house.

The hawk seemed to have a gash on its leg, that Tristan was bandaging. Juliana was confused on how the hawk would allow him to do that. Must have been an old Sarmatian thing.

" Good morning." Juliana said softly, giving him a small curtesy. Tristan mumbled in annoyance to himself, this was not a good time for the little chit to be up and about, he much preferred her when she was sleeping and shut up.

" Get me the clasp that's on the table, it's got little hooks in it." Tristan demanded. Juliana did as he was told, grappling the flat, but hooked clasp, it was about the length of of the tips ofer her fingers. She carefully placed it in Tristan's hand, being careful not to make any contact. Tristan used the clasp to hook two little pieces of bandage together and he had done all he could do for his bird.

He directed the bird onto his right forearm and walked outside, where it was revealed to Juliana it was dawn. Juliana stayed where she was, she feared she would anger Tristan if she coddled him too much. There was the sharp cry of the hawk and a flapping of wings. Tristan came back inside and walked past Juliana into what looked like an unused kitchen.

" I hope you can cook." Tristan said to Juliana. She bit her bottom lip, she did know how, but it had been a while since she had. " At least you'll be of some use." Tristan added. She took a deep breath to calm herself, this man was so rude!

" I can cook." She addressed. " It's been a while though and you don't seem to have any sort of food or drink in the house besides ale." She observed while looking around the kitchen. " What's your favorite meat?" Juliana asked.

" Meat." Tristan replied, his simple answer made Juliana smile and look around the kitchen some more. " I'll give you money and you can shop and cook while I'm gone. I suppose I'm not going to be eating at the tavern tonight." Tristan said.

" Why not? If you mind me asking." Juliana asked him.

" You alone in a house at night, that's asking for trouble, I'm reluctant to leave you alone even now." Tristan answered.

" I have been alone a lot my lord, I am certain I will be fine." Juliana reassured Tristan. Tristan laughed, her calling him "my lord" was ridiculous.

" Aye, I'm not a lord, I actually have morals, and you remember that girl." Tristan said. Juliana smiled, she wished she could have held her smile back for the sake of her family and their status, but after what her father did to her, she cared little.

" I suppose that must be true. A noble kicked me out and you brought me in. I barely know my mother, even less my father and brothers. It's my servant who I miss. She taught me everything, how to run a household and all of that. I do not hate my family, I just don't find them being the first people I miss." Juliana told Tristan. Tristan braced himself, he was going to have to endure a talk about "feelings." This was his personal hell.

" I hope she taught you well." Tristan said to avoid the subject. " You're starting a new life with new rules. As I would honor my fallen knights, excel in this life for your servant's memory." Tristan said, taking out his knife and started sharpening it. " I remember being taken from my village in Sarmatia, I was angry, I loathed the Romans and the though of killing them all was common. I felt like this until I met Arthur, who showed me that we are protecting more than the Romans, but the ones who are simply trying to live a happy life." Tristan said. Juliana looked over at him and smiled. She couldn't imagine how it felt to be taken from her home by force, a home where her parents thought her more than someone who could make connections for them.

" The only thing I will not leave behind is God. I fear I am damned and I will spend the rest of my days begging for his forgiveness." Juliana said. " I have sinned against my father, and therefore, I will go to hell."

" Who told you that?" Tristan asked. Juliana was surprised, the pagan had a very valid question. Juliana looked away from Tristan, spacing out as she thought about his words.

" My father. The church too." Juliana answered after her attention was regained by Tristan finishing his sharpening and placing the knife back in its sheath.

" Listening to the words of men talking about what is divine will never get you anywhere." Tristan told Juliana. She looked at Tristan curiously.

" But they are men of God, he calls upon them for they are noble and blessed." Juliana retorted. Tristan wasn't surprised by how blind the silly girl was, but it still was appalling to him.

" Men are not gods, little girl. It will do you well to remember it the next time a man tires convincing you. Besides, why would it take convincing to get one to see another as divine?" Tristan said. " Juliana was confused and frustrated, but she found Tristan's words wise. " We are not truly religious until we can interpret the religion for ourselves. Your religion, never bothered to ask for your input. Your place was being submissive at the mercy of men who have powers in persuasion and manipulation." Tristan smirked, he found himself being a hypocrite, but, it was for the girl's own good, for she obviously feared damnation more than death.

Christianity was a funny religion to Tristan. In his religion, only the warriors were told to not fear death, not even because of salvation, but to protect those who have their life to live. It seemed to him that Juliana and her folk were told not to fear death, not even to try and stop it, for they would find salvation. What did that make of the Romans? Did it make mothers less loving? Men a hazard and uncaring for anything but greed and lust ? Living, but lifeless children, who did more listening than they did playing? Did it make the blush in a virgin's cheek fade? When life revolved around preparing for death, despair was common, and humanity was rare.

It would definitely fit the Roman description!

" Why would they need the input of the fairer sex?" Juliana asked. Tristan chuckled a little bit, looking the girl straight in the eye.

" You ladies shouldn't flatter yourselves. I have seen women angry far too many times to know that women are terrifying." Tristan said. " Vanora's one of. the scariest." Tristan admitted.

" That's odd. It is not custom in Rome for women to show their anger against men. My mother didn't even try to stop my father when he banished me. I can't blame her, she would have been beaten." Juliana said.

" That's where you Romans have it all wrong. We don't beat our women here. Since women are weaker, it shows cowardice in a man." Tristan said.

" How is it cowardly?" Juliana asked.

" Growing up in Sarmatia, there was this one large boy who used to beat up a scrawnier boy. The other children and I used to find him tough. But, when the boy was hit my another of his size, he ran back to his mother crying. A man who beats his woman is more likely to be like the boy, a coward." Tristan told Juliana. She nodded her head a little bit, understanding. She wondered how old Tristan was, he was very wise and looked like he had some age to him.

" I see. But what does happen to a woman who disobeys her husband?" Juliana asked. This place seemed to get stranger by the minute. It would explain why Vanora nursed her child in front of her. Where was any sort of decency in this place?

" Arguments." Tristan answered. " We know we're not perfect, so we don't make women go around kissing our arse." Juliana was about to say something else, but Tristan abruptly walked out of the kitchen and was headed towards the door. He beckoned Juliana to join him. When she met him at the door, placed a small bag of coins and a door key in her hand.

" That will do well for your shopping. Besides food, you'll need new clothes if you're going to survive the winter here. The market is a ways to the left when you walk out the door." I will be back by sundown, I expect dinner ready by then." Tristan commanded before he went out the door.

Juliana was glad Tristan was gone, she had much to take in with the strangeness of this new place she would have to call home. This place seemed to be everything Rome was not. Juliana thought to herself that she should probably go shopping. She saw that there was a pot that hung above the fireplace, she thought that stew would be an ideal choice. Juliana went back to Tristan's bedchamber, put on her cloak, and walked outside locking the door behind her. She followed Tristan's directions and made a turn left and eventually made her way to the market. It wasn't very busy, probably because most were already working. Juliana found a butcher shop that looked like it would have the perfect meat for her stew. She walked to the counter. The butcher, who seemed to be a giant with a hunchback, frightened her a little bit. But when he turned around, he had the face of a happy child. He smiled at Juliana and walked up to her.

" Morning miss. What can I getcha?" The butcher asked. His voice was high pitched and sounded a little gravely.

" I need a pound of beef." Juliana replied, seeing as beef was the cheapest. She found it odd that beef was less expensive than poultry, farmers must had a bad year she supposed.

" Alright I'll be back in a moment." The butcher said. He walked back where all of his meat hung and cut off the flank meat off one of the cow torsos. He weighed it in his hands, it seemed close enough to a pound. He walked back out with the pieces and wrapped them up in cheap cloth and handed them to Juliana. She smiled at him, paid, and left the butcher shop.

Now she needed vegetables. She eventually found a stand that displayed a variety of vegetables. She looked over the vegetables and decided it was carrots and potatoes she wanted to use in her soup. She purchased them, but before she walked away, she was asked a question by the vendor.

" I've never seen you around here before. Who are you?"

" I am Juliana, I am new here." Juliana replied. The vendor simply laughed as if it were the funniest thing he had heard in a long while.

" Oh yes! The daughter Norbanus disowned, and now living with Tristan! Oh my, he must be a pain to live with, but it's about time he found a girl to put him in his place! I'll bet you two coins that after a while, he'll be like you scrubbing his floors and cooking him meals and acting like the pretty thing you are so much that he'll also want you to give him some more pleasures if you know what I mean." The man said cackling. Juliana was confused.

" I'm sorry, but I don't know what you mean." Juliana replied.

" Oh yeah, that's right. They don't teach that to little girls in Rome now do they. Well, you'll have to ask Tristan and come by tomorrow to tell me how it went!" The man said. Juliana chuckled uncomfortably, paid the vendor, and scurried off with her vegetables.

She went back to the house so she could start preparing the meal. She found knives and a ladle that looked as if it hadn't been used. She diced up the food and realized she didn't have any water in the pot. She groaned and took the pot off its hook and was now in search of a well.

She eventually found one half a mile away from the house. There were a few people who were waiting to draw some water. Juliana joined that crowd of people and stood waiting for a few minutes. She had lowered the pot from the rope and drew enough water for the stew. It was very heavy, and when she tried picking it up without the pulley to help her, she knew she was not going to be able to make it back home with it. Juliana groaned. She waited a while until a young man came up to draw his water from the well. He was of a medium height, yet he was very broad and looked like he could carry five buckets of water.

" Oi! You need help with that?" He asked. His voice was very loud, almost obnoxiously loud. Juliana nodded. Once he had his water, he picked up her pot and started following her home.

" You Norbanus?" He asked. Juliana nodded. " Damn, I can't imagine what it must be like to be kicked out and end up in this dump. No wonder you couldn't carry the bucket, you have no muscles in your arm! I'm Roy by the way, I'm blacksmith, I work for Arthur himself, I make his army's axes." He said, trying to impress Juliana. " Arthur is a good man, good king. Since I hear you're living with Tristan, I bet you'll see him around. By the way, don't coddle Tristan, he tends to avoid any woman how ain't a prostitute. You might drive him mad I bet, if you haven't already!" Roy said laughing. Juliana huffed out her nose, this man talked too much. She hoped they would be home soon!

She eventually got home, had Roy place the pot on its hook, and she quickly rushed him out before he could talk more. She was most definitely annoyed, she would enjoy Tristan's avoiding her when he got home. She put her ingredients in the pot and fed the fire some more with the cloth that the meat was wrapped up in. She remembered then she forgot to buy clothing at the market, so she quickly walked out the door again and was out to the market once again.

She found a seamstress. There was an old, thin woman working there. She had a warm smile on her face that reminded Juliana of her servant.

" What can I help you with dearie?" The old woman asked.

" I need dresses, and probably some shawls and boots." Juliana told the woman. The woman smiled as she walked slowly over to a cabinet.

" Are you Juliana?" The woman asked. Juliana nodded. " I remember Tristan came over here and told me about your situation. He already paid for your clothes, he had a hunch you Roman ladies like shopping too much." The old woman said with a small chuckle. She took the clothes out of the cabinet. There were three dresses, a shawl, and a pair of long leather boots. " There you go dearie. Is it true your father has a statue made of gold in his house?" The woman couldn't help but ask.

" No, not even the emperor or the pope have gold statues." Juliana answered before taking the clothes and leaving the store, not wanting to listen to anymore rumors about her father or Roman culture.

Once she returned to Tristan's house, she immediately took off her soggy wet shoes and put on her boots.

She didn't do much for the rest of the day besides cleaning the kitchen and wallowing in self pity, remembering her life in her father's house and the events of two days ago. She had been busy enough this morning to not realize that everything was starting to sink in, that this was reality and not some sort of bad dream. Never had she been in so much pain as she was now. She simply sat staring at the fire, crying on and off as she allowed herself to dwell on the matter too much. Between her tears, she would pray to God, in hopes that maybe he could forgive her. Not even Tristan's words could make her doubt God and the church.

Tristan finally returned home after sundown. He smelled the stew and was thankful that she could actually cook.

" Good evening." Juliana said, standing up to get the bowls and ladle she set out. Tristan didn't reply, all he really wanted was dinner and for her to go to sleep so he would have time to himself.

Juliana served up the soup, placing it on the table that was near the fireplace. Tristan was already sitting down. He didn't thank her when she set down the bowl of soup, he only started eating. He didn't spit it out, and didn't give Juliana any annoyed glares, so she assumed he must have liked it. The two ate their soup in silence. Juliana was yearning to ask him about what the vendor said, but she was reluctant to.

" Excuse me, can I ask you something?" Tristan was annoyed, yet more questions from the little chit.

" Proceed." Tristan replied.

" I was at the market today and one of the vendors told me that you probably would end up liking me doing chores and all of that. But he also said that you would want 'more pleasures' asking me if I knew what he meant, and I was clueless. Could you tell me?"

Tristan was dead silent, not even breathing, not even eating anymore. His amber eyes looked straight into her blue, he seemed very appalled.

" Let's just say, if you did understand, you probably would never buy vegetables from him again considering how you Roman women are kept ignorant." Tristan said.

" Why won't you tell me?" Juliana asked, her voice rising in pitch and volume. Tristan sighed and put his head in his hand, the little chit was overly curious and was now getting even louder and more annoying.

" It is not my place to tell you, now be quiet." Tristan said calmly.

Juliana sighed and obeyed him. This man was going to be very difficult to live with. He was a stubborn arse if she ever met one, and now this was her life! If this cycle of having to deal with Tristan while also grieving kept going, she was going to get worse than she already was.


	4. Obedience

**It's a short chapter, but I'm back. I was getting kind of scared that no one was really into my story anymore, so thanks to Knight's Queen and "Guest," for giving me hope that people were actually enjoying my** **story. Beware, this chapter has a teeny bit of smut and a little twinge of Dark!Tristan. By the way. The usage of wench I'm using isn't referring to a whore, in the olden days it referred to a young girl.  
**

It had been over a week since Juliana was disowned and banished by her father. She was starting to get used to her routine of taking care of Tristan's home and life at the fort. She didn't have friends though, she found the people she met were lacking culture besides their strange pagan rituals and provincial social structure. She was even starting to become bitter towards the people she had to associate with, especially Roy. Roy however, was too kind and persistent to not help the newcomer, he simply assumed that Tristan was already starting to rub off on her.

Juliana didn't talk to Tristan anymore, something he was thankful for, uncaring of whatever might have happened to shut her little mouth. She stayed out of his way, most of the time, the two of them didn't even eat dinner together. Tristan was finally beginning to see that Vanora was right, she was proving herself to be useful, and she was doing so in silence.

Juliana was beginning to hate Tristan, especially when she found out what "pleasures" exactly meant. It was the night before she discovered what the vegetable vendor was talking about.

_ Juliana, who hadn't been sleeping much anyways, was starting to hear moaning and screaming, it had been going on every night for the past few days. It wasn't until the night before that Juliana decided to investigate. She tiptoed out of Tristan's bedchambers and saw that on the dining room table, Tristan was leaning over a naked woman, and moving his hips frantically against her's. He was fully clothed, but when Juliana saw that his trousers were opened up to reveal his penis, she was wide eyed and stood completely still, she was unable to move she was so shocked. She had never seen an actual penis before, only on sculptures, and they were never large and sticking straight out._

_Tristan, unknowing of Juliana's presence, still kept fucking the whore on the table. Airetha was a favorite whore of his, nice cock sucking lips, and large tits that were covered in bruises, bruises he inflicted with his lips and teeth. When he realized why Lancelot was persistent on being Juliana's guardian, he noticed that Airetha and Juliana had similar features. Blonde hair, full lips, high pitched voice. The differences between them were noticeable though. Airetha was ten years older, and her tits were much larger than Juliana's, and she was also taller and more slender._

_" Oh my lord! Please! Don't stop, I beg of you!" Airetha screamed. Tristan smiled, a dark chuckle let itself out from between his teeth._

_" Keep on begging my sweet whore." Tristan snarled quietly, he was barley heard over Airetha's nonstop cries of pleasure. He lifted the whore's face up so he could whisper in her ear. " You're mine, Juliana." Tristan whispered. Juliana wished that she could hear what he was whispering, but then she thought, maybe she didn't want to know._

_" Yes, I'm yours my lord! I'm only yours!" The whore cried out as Tristan's cock found exactly where she needed to be touched, finding that one place inside of her that made a whore who generally lacked this kind of pleasure relearn what true carnal pleasure was. " Oh my! I'm so close! Please, more! More! Oh fuck! There!" The whore exclaimed, along with incoherent yelling. Soon, the two bodies stopped their frantic movement and looked as if they had gone limp. Juliana had enough, this was not going to continue, not in the house at least._

_Juliana ran out of the shadows she hid silently in and grabbed the hair of the whore and started yanking it. Tristan stood straight up, making himself presentable and putting his cock back in his trousers. He was surprised, he had not expected Juliana to be awake at this hour of the night._

_Juliana pushed the whore off the dining room table and started screaming at her as she kept on yanking her hair and spitting in her face. The whore was screaming as well, and started clawing at Juliana's face, drawing a small amount of blood from Juliana's cheek. Juliana's attack on the whore grew more violent, she tried pinning the arms of the whore down on the floor, but the whore was obviously much stronger than Juliana._

_" I will not have a whore in my presence! Is that what you do to the devil himself? Do you forget your chastity?" Juliana screamed before Tristan dragged her away from Airetha. Juliana was still kicking and screaming, trying in vain to get out of Tristan's powerful hold. Tristan looked the whore in her tear stained eyes, she was frightened and felt low of herself after being attacked by a girl who had to find out about sex like this. Did Airetha find Juliana's actions excusable? Of course not! She knew that Tristan would straighten out the Roman girl. But all the same, a part of her felt for the girl. In all of Airetha's years, she had learned to forgive the unforgivable, sh had to with her occupation._

_" Leave, now." Tristan calmly ordered Airetha. Airetha nodded before scrambling to her feet and running out of the house, into the cold dark of Briton nights._

_Tristan pinned Juliana roughly against the wall, making sure that he had her full, undivided attention. The anger on Juliana's face faded away into pain, giving him a look of betrayal before bursting into tears._

_" I don't know what it is with you, but you will forget your god, forget your precious Rome, because they aren't here. I am here, you will obey me, for you live in my house. You will not act in the way you just acted, and if you do, not even Arthur would have objections to banishing you and leaving you at the mercy of savages. Is that understood chit?" Tristan scolded Juliana. His voice, while it didn't rise in volume, it lowered in pitch, and was laced with disgust, and even more frightening, honesty.  
_

_Juliana nodded, still sobbing. Tristan grabbed her face roughly, turning it so he could see the areas Airetha had left bleeding scratches. Juliana was left silent, she felt a warmth in her chest, her chest heaved and her lips instinctively pouted. Juliana was confused about what she was feeling. Was it pain? No, it was pleasurable, but it felt unfinished. Juliana wanted to ask Tristan what was happening to her, but she knew from the deadly look in his eyes, that he was in no mood to answer any of her questions._

_" Go, wash off your wounds, then off to bed with you." Tristan instructed before he let her face out of his strong grasp. Juliana gasped and scurried off. Tristan watched her leave, smirking to himself. Hopefully soon, she will be broken into a well mannered woman so Tristan could marry her off and be rid of the wench. As much as he loved not paying for a housekeeper, he did despise Juliana's capability to invade Tristan's space, even when she left him alone he would still find something to be annoyed about. _

The morning after the incident, when Tristan finally left, Juliana began to dwell in her thoughts. What was she becoming? She was violent and bitter, all the things Rome would have despised, even if it was for the sake of common morals! Not only was she violent and bitter, she still felt the same warmth in her chest whenever she was around Tristan.

The thought of him last night plagued her mind, his stamina and strength, the way he made the whore scream, and the memory of his cock made Juliana continue to have such strange sensations, and they were beginning to spread throughout her body. Barley able to keep focused on her chores, she wondered why she was feeling what she was feeling, and how she could suppress them.


	5. Roy's Downfall

**So this is a quick update for me! Yay! I'm proud of myself. The weekend is a kind thing. I like reviews, they are like crack but useful.**

Juliana's once towering pride was now knocked down to only a few cracked bricks. She found little faith in God anymore, he was granting the opposite of her prayers. The faith she did find in God anymore was that he had damned her to hell, that she was well past the point of no return. She stopped praying, knowing deep inside that it was hopeless, nothing was going to change for her. This was her life now, her family wasn't coming back for her.

Two nights after she attacked Airetha, Juliana had received word from a Roman guard that her family had left for Rome, and there were no plans of return. It was now official, Roman government had abandoned Briton for good.

Juliana's grief only increased after receiving the news, she had officially lost everything that meant something to her. She was stuck here, tending to a man, a pagan man no less. Juliana wished she was never born, or at least, had never been a dishonor to her father's name. Now, with no fiancé, no faith, no family, and no friends, Juliana was truthfully lost in the world. All Juliana had left was her life with Tristan, and it was not something she was joyous about.

Tristan had brought Airetha to his house since the attack, and there were no rude interruptions from Juliana. He would sometimes hear a faint sobbing after Airetha left, but Tristan ignored it, there was nothing he could do for her even if he wanted to help her. He found himself incapable of being beneficial to the girl besides providing a roof over her head, a fact he would discuss with Arthur and the other knights.

It was nightfall, Tristan brought Juliana with him to the tavern, not trusting her to be by herself. She was sitting at another table by herself, she was working on repairing the stitching of Tristan's green overcoat, for it was once again starting to fall apart. Tristan sat with the other knights, making sure he was far enough away so Juliana couldn't hear him, and that he was close enough to keep a close eye on her.

" Please Tristan! If you're going to complain about how Juliana is taking up your space, you might want to take the girl ad claim that space back if you know what I mean." Gawain said before taking a swig of his ale. The others chortled at Gawain's innuendo, Tristan however, was not either amused or annoyed.

" She is not happy here with me. I'm thinking of having her marry that one blacksmith that helps her out at the well. Juliana knows him, so it's really the best match I can provide." Tristan said.

" Don't even. I saw the two of them together, he'll drive the chit mad. If you ask me, I would gladly volunteer myself to take that lovely burden of yours, since you can't seem to see what you've got." Lancelot said with a smug little smirk curling his lips. Tristan almost spit out his ale.

" Oh, but Lancelot, I've heard from Airetha that he does know what he's got." Galahad said. " Or at least, his cock has more sense than his mind."

" Ha! I never thought Tristan would have thoughts of bedding a Roman girl." Bors added.

" Gossiping whore." Tristan snarled under his breath.

" I couldn't help overhearing what you all were talking about." Vanora said as she refilled their mugs of ale. " First off, I agree and disagree with Lancelot, I agree to the fact that the blacksmith boy is not a good match for Juliana. But so help me Tristan, if you make poor Juliana the wife of Lancelot, I will have to strangle you." The knights laughed, all except Tristan and Lancelot. " Also, I talked to Juliana yesterday, she's having terrible back pain. You really ought to put a mattress on that bed Tristan, or else she'll be walking with a cane before she's twenty." Vanora scolded.

" Better my wife than Tristan's ward though. For I make sure my bed is as soft as the woman herself." Lancelot said jokingly.

" Oh please, we don't need any more of you mucking about!" Vanora snapped at Lancelot. " Anyways Tristan, another thing that you should do is stop bringing whores into the house! Because I'd react the same way as she did if Bors brought one in my house. The girl does enough for you, the least you can do is give her a decent night's sleep."

Juliana walked over to the table, placing Tristan's overcoat on the table. She had a hard look on her face, replacing the sweet, innocent tone that was there when Tristan had found her in the snow. Tristan finally noticed how much the girl had changed. She had dark circles underneath her eyes, her face was pale without any color to it, and she was noticeably thinner, not filling out her dress the way she used to. She looked as if she were about to start bawling at any given moment.

" There." Juliana said simply, her voice was bitter, uncontrollably bitter. She and Tristan exchanged bitter looks before she turned sharply on her heel and walked back to her table.

There was now a newcomer to the tavern, it was Roy nonetheless! Juliana began seething with anger, trying to hide her face the best she could, but of course, the bastard came and sat next to her anyways.

" Juliana! I've never seen you here before." Roy said, but before he could finish, Juliana stood up and walked away from the boy, she already was having a rough time, she didn't need Roy annoying her. She sat at the end of the table the knights occupied, sitting right next to Tristan, but at the moment, she could care less.

" It seems there is no room for your arse at this table, and I have no patience to socialize with you. Please, leave my line of sight." Juliana said. Roy now had the last straw, he took a deep breath and said.

" Fine, carry your own water back from the well, because like you have lost your patience, I have lost my patience to deal with a rude, Roman bitch like you." Roy clenched his fists. " I have been nothing but kind to you, but no more!"

Tristan had it with the boy's language, he felt betrayed that the boy was not the unwavering loyal person he thought he was. Tristan stood up and grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt and brought him close.

" Listen, boy. If you have that kind of tongue in front of her again, I will cut it out and feed it to my hawk. You will continue to help her, but you will do so in silence. If I hear anything negative of you, you will regret your lack of respect not only to her, but your respect to me. Is that understood by?" Tristan hissed. The knights and Juliana were shocked by Tristan's reaction. Their usually calm, collected Tristan, obviously had a soft spot for the girl, or at least, a spot soft enough not to allow her to be called a bitch.

" Yes! Yes!" Roy shouted frantically. Tristan snarled and shoved the boy to the ground before going back to sit in his place. The boy scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as he could away from the tavern.

When Tristan saw Juliana's smile, he couldn't help but smile as well. She looked up at him, she looked a bit more like she did when Tristan first found her, there was a blush in her cheeks and there was light in her eyes.

" Thank you." Juliana said, still shocked that Tristan was the first who defended her after Roy's usage of vulgar language. Her tone was no longer so bitter towards the scout.

" There is no need to thank me. I had to put that boy in his place." Tristan replied. " I hear he's the bastard of a Roman infantryman, it seems the Roman blood is flowing freely through his veins."

" Hey, don't forget who's you're talking to." Juliana said with a small laugh. " But I must agree that the majority of Roman soldiers are rude, I remember the guards at my father's house a bit too well."

" Ah Tristan, in a few more days you're going to make the girl Sarmatian!" Gawain said laughing. " Better know when to stop so she isn't like Vanora."

" Oi!" Vanora said, hitting Gawain in the arm. " I'm not deaf you know. It would be nice to have someone else like me, keeping you all in line would be much easier."

" I think you do a good enough job of that, don't you think Vanora?" Galahad teased. Vanora rolled her eyes and went back to the kitchen to see if she was needed.

Tristan noticed Juliana yawn, her eyes had a drowsy look to them as they tried desperately to stay open. It took only a few minutes until Juliana was asleep, using his side as a pillow. He stayed quiet and still, taking care not to cause any disturbance that might awaken her.

It took a good half an hour until the knights noticed Juliana sleeping against Tristan. They wondered if Tristan was aware, it would be strange if he wasn't, but it would be even stranger if he was.

" Tristan. I never knew you to lend yourself as a pillow." Galahad said.

" Galahad, there's been times Tristan wanted to lend himself to her as a mattress." Lancelot said. The men laughed, even Tristan chuckled a little bit to himself, apparently, the word had gotten out about his more carnal desires for Juliana, and he was not going to deny that bit of truth. He knew it would be impossible for anyone to buy that he had no interest in a small, pretty, virginal girl he had rescued.

" I think I'll be off. I have much to do tomorrow." Tristan said. He stood up, his hand supporting Juliana to keep her from falling. He picked Juliana's small body with ease, carrying her as if she were his woman. He walked away from the tavern, making sure not to waken Juliana on the way home.

Once home, Tristan opened the door and carried her to his bedchambers, she let out a little whine when she was placed on the hard bed. Alas, she did awaken to see Tristan's face looking down at her. She smiled a little bit, not expecting that Tristan would be kind enough to carry her home instead of awakening her.

" You brought me home." Juliana said giggling. " Since when have you been so kind to me?"

" Since I realized that Roy was not the suitor I hoped he was going to be." Tristan replied.

" You were going to marry me off to him?" Juliana asked. " Thank the Lord that I did anger him."

" There's a difference between angering a man and a man losing his temper." Tristan said. " I will never give you away to a man who would lose his temper. It proves all the more that he is not fully a man." Juliana smiled at Tristan. " Now, I had best leave you to sleep, I think you will enjoy tomorrow." Tristan said before walking towards the door.

" How so?" Juliana asked before Tristan left his chambers.

" It's a surprise." Tristan said, he left, closing the door behind him. Juliana smiled to herself before curling up and going to sleep.

Tristan was sitting at the hearth when he heard a knock on the door. He knew who it was. He walked up to answer it. It was Airetha.

" Sorry I'm late." Airetha said.

" It is fine. I will not be needing your services tonight." Tristan said. Airetha looked shocked.

" Is there any reason?" Airetha asked.

" Since you cannot keep our meetings confidential, I will not keep your services." Tristan said before closing the door on Airetha.


End file.
